How to Regain Trust

Professor Raj Raghunathan at the University of Texas claims: "The degree of interpersonal trust also has a big impact on a country's economy, and it greatly affects how happy its citizens are." 

He actually alludes to the global happiness survey, carried out by the Vancouver School of Economics at the University of British Columbia. It was discovered that the two happiest nations in the world, Denmark and Norway, express more than 65% of their confidence. In contrast, Greece expresses less than 30% of its confidence, which is a lower percentage than India.

But why do we perceive everything through a lens of unease and dread? There are three major reasons that possibly justify why we have grown so wary and doubtful.

1. Nowadays, there is many people who, despite having no scientific or cognitive training, assert that they know everything. Even more confusion is caused by the fact that they have a platform to speak on the internet and influence us, either positively or negatively.

The question is, why do they influence us, or more accurately, why do we allow them to influence us? Why have we lost our objectivity? Why don't we seek out those who are truly experts? Why do we listen to everyone's opinion, and finally  why have we lost our common sense perspective?

2. The media constantly feed us news that makes us feel anxious and fearful. Our faith in other people and in life in general is shaken because of this fact.

3. At some point in our lives, someone we trusted betrayed us, made fun of us, or gave us unrealistic expectations that turned out to be unfounded.

In such cases, our initial response would be: It is their fault, it’s the government’s fault, the doctor’s fault, my friend’s fault who advised me to invest in these stocks, and so on.

However, the decision about whom to trust in areas where you lack expertise rests entirely with you.

Since they simply trample on our emotions and needs by overriding our logic and intuition—which, incidentally, ring alarm bells on that point—we tend to trust those who present everything to us easily and favorably and who expertly earn our trust.

We become careless and vulnerable out of insecurity and fear, making ourselves easy pickings for pretentious people.

If a friend or partner has hurt us, should we never trust them again? Should we be left alone without a friend or partner? Of course not. We give up on life if we lock ourselves away out of fear that someone will take advantage of us. 

Joy and life automatically retreat where fear is present.

 Herein lies a huge trap; if we doubt someone, it is as though we doubt ourselves for having put our trust in the wrong people or circumstances.

 However, a life without risks is not worth living. The alleged error served as a lesson for you and helped you become a little bit more discerning about who to put your trust in.

Not everything is black or white. There are shades of gray. It is not a life hack to adopt the belief that one should either trust absolutely nothing or absolutely everything. 

“I will lose my self-esteem and self-acceptance, and I will come into conflict with myself, which will condemn me to inertia. In a state of inertia, I feel safe by reducing the risk of making a mistake.” But you're mostly mistaken here.

Errors lead to growth and evolution. If we don't make mistakes, we don't grow; instead, we stay stagnant in our comfort zone.

We all have the right to be wrong, just like doctors, scientists, and specialists. We only improve by making mistakes. After all, no one knows everything.

There will soon be an exciting discovery in a field that will call into question everything previously taken for granted, and that field is evolution. Through our experiences and actions, we grow daily. This does not imply, however, that we should disregard our past; rather, it emphasizes the need for us to acknowledge our accomplishments in order to continue on the path of improvement toward personal excellence and mastery.

The world's most prosperous and contented individuals weren't afraid to get their hands dirty or err. These people today have numerous consultants for each aspect of their lives, all of whom they have carefully chosen based on a variety of objective criteria. We have the freedom to choose from whom we take advice. This is compared to letting anyone play the role of consultant without being asked, entrusting our lives to people who are only partially educated or even ignorant.

So that we can form an informed opinion on every topic that interests us, we must consult the appropriate expert. Even so, since we are always in charge of the final decision, we should use sound judgment and logic rather than blindly imitating their behavior. In the end, not making a decision is still a decision.

Another aspect of developing social maturity has been changing the way we elect our leaders. For it requires us to adopt fair and deserving standards for each candidate who can respond to the following question: What have you accomplished in life, and why should I grant you the right to manage our country's affairs?

The only person in charge of your life is you.

In order to create a trusting environment, you must first embrace your mistakes and show love and compassion for yourself. Then, as your self-confidence grows, your environment will follow also. This is how we create a trustworthy zone around us and a more civil society that benefits everyone!

You are the key, not the others.